Bye week, and I’m already twitching without Texas football. No Arch Manning grimaces to nitpick, no Sark play-calls to roast—just me stuck watching everyone else’s drama. At least there are still some heavyweight games to keep me entertained: Georgia–Alabama in the SEC and Ohio State–Penn State in the Big Ten should both be slugfests. Meanwhile, I’ll laugh at the Aggies doing Aggie things and ignore the OU fans—since they’ve got no game to lose this week, they’ll just be on Twitter convincing themselves Texas is nothing but a media creation—like the press is secretly holding weekly hype meetings in Austin.

Strike Ohio State -->   Oregon vs. Penn State

and the mormans take out prime